Things A Single Should Do Over Social Media

Social Media can be “not so great” if you’ve not got another person you can share your problems with. It can be a best friend too, but then friendships aren’t as exciting these days. While, I am a single myself I can relate to every person who wants to fast forward through February. Don’t worry people, I stand with you and am proud of you for getting past this extremely torturous month. The very little I can do, I will do. Give you ideas about being a lot cooler. One is to not drag introductions. So, here we go.

1. Troll couples on Social Media. 

This is an extremely cool way to pass time. If you’re unhappy, make everyone else feel the pain. There are lots of ridiculous, atrocious, head paining, horribly offensive stuff on the web. You just need to choose ‘em one by one and share them through your various Social Media accounts. Something like, “There’s life, there’s death, and then there’s getting into a relationship with someone who hates sex” is a good start. You can only make your posts worse from here.

It’d be a huge hit, especially on Twitter! Nobody would realize your pain. So what are you waiting for? Ah, 5 more points … I see.

2. Brag about being single!

If you see the glass “half full” even when it’s empty. I am apologetic for my previous point. You don’t need to change yourself, but what you can do is as effortless, and as annoying – to everyone else. It’s all about you. Why care about people!? So, start bragging about how cool being single is. Tell everyone you don’t need anyone in life. None to complete you because you’re a solved Algebraic expression. As clear as it gets. Start with: “India’s Prime minister is ‘single’. India’s greatest President was single. Salman Khan is virgin. Patrakar PopatLal is too and I am the coolest thing since the ‘Ice age’. Priceless.

3. Advice: Nothing beats a Single giving Relationship advices!

Find happiness sadistically. Don’t mind hearts being shattered or relationships being broken to make yourself laugh. Lots of people come to me for relationship advises, and I on almost all instances spend hours trying to get people to “walk out” of their relationship. If you’re to tell me how your boyfriend and girlfriend didn’t pick up a call of yours, I’d give up my life trying to prove how big an unpardonable CRIME that is, and why you should dump that ignorant, mean idiot! 

Example: 

Friend: Buddy, I think he might be cheating on me.

Your advice should be: Ah, according to the University of Oxford if you think your partner is cheating on you, dump them. History suggests that 99. 9% times they are cheating. Having known your boyfriend he has nothing in him to suggest he’d be in the 0.1%. Spice it up!

4. Disgrace Tinder, TrulyMad and ALL dating sites!

Nothing makes you look cooler than everyone knowing you’re single and you don’t have a Tinder account! It’s okay if you’ve one, but that girl or boy you’re tweeting to doesn’t need to know that. Go a step further and start posting about how dating sites are ruining the essence of relationships. How you’ve lost trust in relationships because everyone is selfish. Probably add up a fake High school love story for extra flavours. Tell everyone how your partner cheated on you. How you’ve kept people who’ve loved you at one hand distance. Let them know that you don’t care about what people think and say. (Wo)Man, you’re in for being a total bad@ss!

5.) Flirt!

If everything else is hard, and you can’t stop yourself, and being single is as difficult as “being human” for you. Add that Tinder ain’t working as well. Flirt. Twitter is a great place to start. Everyone understands your pain. Start with posting about being “friendzoned” or “brozoned” or maybe tweet a simple “Ah, I am so lonely. I don’t want to live anymore.” Something like a “Truth or Dare” game where you just tell them how good you feel about them and how they are like sneezing – do clarify that they too stop your heartbeat and they are as awesome as the next Avengers movie. Say anything you like and think to be convenient. Of course, you don’t have to pay anything. Flatter the next person till they say, “Baby, I love you. You sound better than my gramophone“. Destiny could work wonders. Things like “I know I am not good enough for you” and “Bae, you make me cry” are even better. Good luck.

6. Meditate! Exercise! Gain!

Not everything needs to be about Social Media. If you’re not on any Social Media, which has minimal possibility. You can do better things than just killing your time on the web.Not that it’s lame, I do it 24×7. Still you can do boring stuff outside it. One of ‘em is getting healthier. Health is wealth as you know, and what better than giving your body – time. We’re living increasingly bad lifestyles and aging is due to be much worse than previous generations. So exercise! Not just your muscles, but also your brain, and if possible also your heart – Nothing philosophical, I am talking about doing cardio exercises you fool. 

Fact: Exercising makes you lot happier. I’d love to give you a link to find more about this, but I am already exhausted from my hours of Twitter Yoga. 

Here’s a WTF image to go with a WTF post! Captions needed?

Thanks for reading, waiting to hear from you, friend! Keep smiling!

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100 Things I need to tell YOU – the 4th 25 about “love”

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Life, love and more in the 4th part of this list article series. I would like to thank Google for existing and helping me shoot at war without having any first hand experience with guns. You’d understand this reference later. Now, please READ.

[You can get the third list about a “life without limits and suicides here.]

0. All the posts combined has 104 points in total. Yet, I have named it 100 things I need to tell YOU for some reason.

0.1 The theme of this “set” is love, hate and mistakes. Now we have a total of 105 points. (Don’t expect me to talk a lot about hate though.)

1. Love yourself.

2. Want your first love to not go wrong? Fall in love with yourself.

3. Love your education, career and money because they won’t get up on you one morning and decide to leave you. [This stuck on my mind from a tweet I read few days before. I apologize for not being able to give proper credit.]

4. In a survey, 88% of women said “money” to be a “very important” part of relationships, and it’s the number one cause of disputes as well. [Article: 10 fascinating facts about modern relationships.]

5. It’s okay to fall in love with your phone. Actually, it’s not okay, but I understand your trouble.

6. It’s normal to fall in love, but you should be strong enough to stand up and walk out of it.

You weren’t expecting that, were you? But, I LOVE humour. You should LOVE a good laugh as well. Makes life much easier. It reminds me that…

7. Love your life. It will stay with you till death.

8. Love and appreciate friendships.

Here’s a short incident from my own life, when I was hanging out with my 2 best friends recently.

F1 to F2: Dude, why are you so sad?
F2: ’cause she is out of town for a couple of days.

F1 (laughs): You won’t be this sad, even when I die.
F2: Honestly, yeah.

Me to F1: I think you shouldn’t have asked that, feels bad.

Myself and F1 had a good laugh about it, and F2 tried to justify his thoughts; sadly we knew he wasn’t kidding as well. It’s okay.

Thoughts: Everyone of you have a priority list, but if you’ve good friends. Appreciate them.

9. It’s easier to hate, but it kills you subtly.

10. You’ll make mistakes in life. You can fall in love with the wrong person, you may waste precious amount of time in life trying to hate somebody. The best thing is to learn and move on.

11. Never hate people who help you better yourself.

12. I read a heck lot of “love” posts on the web for this topic, like this one on Thought Catalog.

What I learnt: “love” related posts gets a good number of page views, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It was fun reading many of ’em but at times people get a bit too “cheesy”.

13. Love bites can kill you. Here’s a recent story.

Hickey Kills Teenage Boy: Blood Clot, Stroke Caused By ‘Love Bite’ From Girlfriend

14. This is how a “cute” kid answered the question of “What is love?”

I guess my best way of explaining what I think love is would be like the solar system. There are a bunch of planets that can represent people. And then of course gravity holds them together. And gravity is sort of like love. No matter how far apart people are, love can hold them together

An excerpt from this article at The Guardian.

15. We are not the only faithful species, but Wolves, swans and many more in the animal kingdom find a mate for life.

16. Heart break is not just a metaphor.

17. Forgive loved ones for the mistakes, they’re humans too.

18. Love and appreciate diversity. Not all roses are red, but all are beautiful.

19. Loving, and being loved back are two different things completely independent of each other.

20. Smile is the most attractive feature. Bring the best smiles out of people, and never forget to smile yourself even during hard times. Your smile could be someone’s only happiness.

21. “I had a boyfriend for a week.” Not me.

An international friend recently let me know about her one week’s “virtual” relationship. This was a fun conversation lasting an hour with many a laughing “emoji”. It’s an example of love not lasting “forever” and ending without any heartbreaks.

I don’t know why I would mention this thing, but both of us found it funny. It doesn’t actually qualify as “true love” in any sense. It doesn’t qualify as love either. Naughty young people.

22. The answer to hate is not hate, it’s not love either. It’s apologizing for the inconvenience and moving on.

23. I am 22, and have always been single, and I hope that doesn’t make this whole post invalid.

I do LOVE my life, my family, friends and this universe. So, I do have a point with all this, from what I understand.

24. There’s always a voice you like to hear, a face you like to see, and some people you genuinely respect and like for who they are, and keep doing so even when they are gone from your lives, and even with the memories getting blurred with time.

25. Then you’ll also have people who’ll not enter to leave, but to stick by you through all this “drama” of life. If you’ve found yours, good luck. If you’ve haven’t – I don’t care. I haven’t either.

Thank you for reading, and this is the most fun I’ve had writing a list. I hope you have fun reading this too. If not, I would LOVE you for forgiving me.