Unrequited Love: It’s about Writing, people.

3 years now; time has raced, hasn’t it? Seems yesterday when I started to blog. Back then, I’d write a post and I would log back into my phone’s Blogger/WordPress app a million times just to check if a new comment had arrived. I consider myself a writer; pardon me for being delusional but everyone who writes is considered a writer in my book. Some just make it bigger than others. I won’t give you 100 reasons for why “some” make it bigger than others. Neither will I mention their hard work, nor all the night’s sleep they’ve missed. This post is not about all that. This ain’t a motivational piece, nor a success story. It’s written to share the story of a writer, an unknown writer, he is not successful, nor has he failed. any guesses for the writer is? Okay, it’s ME. It’s me.

I logged in to check for comments, and every good comment made me happy. I don’t know if that’s passion or not; however, that had me wanting to write more. But, with time, my blogs became a rarity and hence, those wonderful comments. I became inactive on Google Plus, then stopped having conversations on Facebook with most friends, all texts with my blogging mates ceased, and, Twitter – as fun as it was, it became something else, not by any means a showcase of my writing skills. As the visitors to the blog decreased, I lost more interest. With time, I stopped sending those posts to different webzines and sites in hope to get published. Badly lost enthusiasm. Stopped writing my book. No money coming in, no appreciation as well, and, the writer in me was almost lost. Somewhere in that period, I was out of college as well – without a degree.

When you can’t love what you do, you’ll have a hard time. I realized that with time. I often reflect and I feel that having been on the web actively, reading and learning about writing for a good 2 years. I wrote consistently during a certain period. Yet, I didn’t move an inch forward with regards to being a better writer. The command over the language, the vocabulary, all felt stagnant. In fact, when I read and discovered so many talented people, it scared me; it’s unnerving. Do I deserve to be successful? Can I do this better then these people? Should I even be here? Am I good enough? Is my best going to be good enough? You ask yourself questions, and you can’t answer them. It worries you, breaks you, and it hurts, rather badly. I tried to pretend I was still in love with writing. I hoped it was just one of those “writer’s block” but the truth is – it was not – but much more. 

Something happened then, – I started to appreciate unrequited love. How? Life works in strange ways. I also started to understand myself better. How? That’s mysterious, even to me. However, special mention to an episode from the Mahabharata where Krishna talks to Arjuna about doing things without any expectations. While that didn’t create a magical change in me. It helped me rethink things I do. Somehow through all this I found a reason to write, write again. 

I was in no mood to write a blog post anytime soon. Nor had any reason to write. But here I am; writing again and it’s not for all the stats, although all the wonderful comments will still make me smile (See what I did there?). The writer needed to write this piece. I write best when I need to, when it’s my way out. Blogging on a personal level won’t make me rich anytime soon, but it can help me stay sane. I fell in love with writing not because I was looking for lots of fame. Initially, I had no desires and just wrote stuff in a notebook I made for the purpose of writing; I found writing a great hobby. I fell in love with it. Afterwards, I started to dream, dream of being the world’s best writer. I dreamt to be rich by selling books. And, when the reality struck, and the doubts started creeping in, when I realized there were so many people writing much better stuff, and I could only notice my flaws: I stopped loving to write. I wished to be popular. I wished to be rich through my works. But, I lost the love I had for writing. Writing isn’t easy, and as a wise friend told me: creativity couldn’t be rushed. 

When you can’t find a purpose to write (other than dreaming to be rich) and when you don’t find yourself good enough, you’d not be able to do the writer within you, justice. Being an introvert in a small city doesn’t help either. My life starts and ends in a room, and then even the writer can only sit back and worry than explore the world of imagination, and it’s saddening. However, sometimes if you just hang on, you get answers as well.

When somebody falls in love with another person. A person who doesn’t love them back. That somebody has two options. He/She can either own and appreciate their feelings and evolve into a stronger, wiser person and in the process one may well learn to love oneself. There’s a second thing they can do to, but I wouldn’t mention that because the first idea sounds so cool and dignified, and it also doesn’t hurt the person they “love”. The world doesn’t own anything to anyone. 

Love is unconditional and without expectations. When you do anything you love, there should be no desires attached. As a wise man once said, “Never will a man without expectations be hurt.” If I ever like a girl, she’s perfectly entitled to even ignore my very existence. So, when I write, it’s perfectly okay for the writing Gods to avoid reading my crap. It’s perfectly okay for anyone to not read these posts. What’s necessary for me is to write and to try to get people reading them. But, I hope to not forget that I write to get peace, everything else is a bonus. Don’t get me wrong: I am still human.

My duty is to get back on the right track of learning, and grow into the best writer I can be. It’s my job to write the stories I can tell – hopefully in a way different from the rest. I am unique in some way, I have that feeling. I’ll have to search for myself. The news is that I am restarting my journey. I am getting back writing, sending pieces, typing random stuff on my phone. Vomitting “words” in my notebook. Starting to search for freelancing opportunities. Writing a crazy blog post once in a while. Even if my words and I aren’t visible in the virtual, I can safely say I will write, write everyday. The sort of things, I feel, only I write. But, I’d do everything without expecting anything in return. It might be difficult, but I know nothing will break me again. I will write, – that’s sure for this life. If not for anything else, just for the sake of happiness and peace only writing can provide me with. I still dream, dream to be rich, but my goal is to evolve into the best storyteller I can be.

I am in a unique situation. I have been teaching little kids off late; I have no degree yet, but I earn bit; what I earn is peanuts; but I do something. I never sit back and cry, and I’ve no idea what I am going to do next. The only thing I’d probably need now is some peace within. Something will happen for me someday; I won’t give up – what I know I will do. And, as always life will go on.

Have I got my answers? Maybe. Am I motivated to restart? YES! The present says I have my exams soon (I am pursuing a distance learning course now) and I found time for a thing that really makes me feel good: This feeling of having written. Yes, I am a writer; I write. 

[PS: If you get this feeling, that I’m mostly trying to convince myself; you’re a genius. But, I am trying; trying because I know I am much worse at everything else.] 

Lastly, a moment of silence for these words in the pic below.

Thanks for reading, see you in the comments. Good day.

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Day 1 – Quote Challenge: Tim Clark’s Wisdom

The Weekend is busy for me this time, as this guy has been nominated to do a few things. All fun. So, for starters I’ve been nominated by a fellow blogger for a quote challenge. To clear the air, here I have copied the rules.

The 3-Day Challenge rule book:

1. Thank the person who nominated you. [Thanks Mike Senczyszak – Solsbury Hill.]

2. Post for 3 days (not necessarily in a row)

3. 3 quotes per day

4. 3 new Bloggers nominated each day – link to their sites

5. Notify your 3 picks they’ve been tagged

Done!

I wanted to do this in a refreshing way. So, I have decided to quote the people I meet/talk/read and learn from.  Day One is dedicated to one such person. Let’s start with the CEO of “Life, Explained”, Tim Clark. Here’s some of his wisdom:

1. About his blogs!

I have been blogging for several years, and have a string of successful blogs. If success is defined as doing something that makes you happy, mine are a smash hit.

Excerpt from his guest post on Adele Archer’s blog.

Love what you do, find happiness in the little things, and you’re successful. Everything else you may earn is a bonus.

2. On evolving Internet, and what he has learned, and all of us should too.

I have more friends now than ever in my life, and most of them I have never met. They are scattered from New York, to New Hampshire, to Germany, to Great Britain, to Kuwait, New Zealand, India, all over the place. It has made me a better person, it has made me understand there are more things that unite us than anybody in power wants to admit. And it should be shouted from the mountain.

Excerpt from his post on Life Explains Aging

The person that Tim Clark is.

3. This world today:

We live in a world filled with madness, hate, bigotry. We are awash in terrible weapons of unimaginable destructive power. We can never use them. We can never eliminate them. And we keep telling ourselves that those two statements somehow make sense together. That we can control ourselves, and each other, enough to keep playing.

Excerpt from his blog Life Explains The End

From knowing him over an year now, I can say Mr. Tim Clark is a person with a lot of gratitude, humbleness, trying to spread happiness. However, it won’t stop him from being honest about the current state of our existence. I have a lot of choices to quote. I continue to meet awesome people, I choose Tim for the first day for always being inspiring, and for lots of #WednesdayWisdom.

I will nominate 1 blogger a day only to avoid Spamming, the person whose words make this post worth reading, so my nomination.

1. Tim Clark – Life, explained

See you everyone, soon with quotes, and much more. Thank you!

“WELCOME To My BLOG!”

This is neither my first post, nor I’m actually welcoming you to this space. If you know me from your social media circles (which has a fair chance, nobody else appears here), you might think that I’m trying to be funny. Honestly, I’m not.

Why would I want you guys to read this? It’s a free blog on WordPress. A platform which does an awesome job of making blogging easier than buying a good pair of shoes. Although, like any other business – the primary objective is to earn money. (I know they will say differently – and most probably “consumer satisfaction” is the anonymous reply as far as businesses are concerned).

Lets not deviate from the topic too much – I was stating that wordpress.com makes blogging easy, but it limits its usage too. There is a restriction on space, earning and everything. This free version of WordPress has just been made to let people express, and nothing more. Then, there’s the wordpress.org is the best blogging platform which allows blogging with utmost professionalism, but then it needs more time and effort than any other blogging platform. Although, the platform is a heaven for those who choose to be “serious” bloggers.

Which brings me to Blogger – what more can anyone say? The once “next big thing” hasn’t evolved like it was expected too. And, it’s more like “some of this – some of that” phenomenon now. Although, it’s still popular as it still integrates well with Google, and is easier managed than a wordpress.org blog, allowing less (much less) limitations than a wordpress.org blog. It will continue to be used, until Google thinks it’s time. You never know with Google. Remember Google reader, and all the mess happening (or not happening) with Google+. We will and should continue with #FixThePlus but it’s not profitable for ’em. So, we will have to accept, whatever is served to us.

Tumblr, SquareSpace, Medium and more than 24 blogging platforms exist as well. Then vlogging is another option too. All having its limitations, all its uncertainties. Now, if you are a blogger reading this. Guys – EVOLVE is the word for you. The internet boom came, it shook the world, but it’s after a decade and a half – matters are really about to shake wild.

If you’re looking to earn from blogging. Keep an eye on ad-blockers, it’s a game changer, but then we all know how difficult earning from AdSense is. The next thing is affiliate marketing, and if you aren’t into its details, you should be.

If you’re a writer, you shouldn’t be worrying about all this, but I hate how much ignorant writers are about the alternative mediums about promoting their books. Create PPT presentation peeps, share to SlideShare, create quizzes for GoToQuiz, and really think out of the box. As good as G+, Twitter and Facebook are, they’re not the only thing you should be checking out in the mornings.

Now, if you are just another cool peep as me – #Chillax. Have fun looking at all of our fellow humans struggle their ways to make their dream space on the Web. But, we also have our problems, don’t we? Anyways, I will have fun looking at the stats for this post, and really people hitting my site does make me HAPPY. I know I said otherwise at the start, I even used “honestly” but you should always believe the “latest” word, shouldn’t you? That’s what all of us do with politicians.

If I being a novice myself have to give an advice on Social Media – It will be that don’t get STUCK to one platform. Explore your opportunities, and I’m pretty confident with what I’m saying.

Side notes: I’m 3% fluent in French now. I love WordPress even more. If you didn’t read up until here, you s*ck. But, then you did, right?

Side notes (2): I call myself a blogger, and a writer too. I hope no one has an objection. I’m in the middle of writing a book (not exactly middle, but still #AmWriting), and I still post on this blog, at least once a month. So you see, just wish me luck. See you in the next post. If you haven’t had enough already.

Bonjour! (Good day in French)😎

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[Now those who know that I have used this image before, or wondering if the picture goes well with the theme of the post. Well, please don’t think too much. I was finding a tough time uploading an image to my WordPress app. So, i took a shortcut, and used an earlier one. I’m too smart. Okay. A fresh image next time is guaranteed. Thanks for your time. It’s really appreciated, and you don’t know the happiness you provide me by reading this :’). Bye.]