“Wrong number, ma’am!” Why you should double-check the “dialed number”.

Life is unpredictable. Nobody has ever written an autobiography upfront. There is just no way to predict what’s going to happen next. While sometimes somethings can happen for the worse, mostly life is kind enough to bring you great surprises… and yeah, sometimes things happen which just leave you laughing your guts off. 

My latest Monday morning started that way. I was awaken by the sound of my cellphone’s ringtone. I am never a big fan of my phone ringing, especially when I’m in sleep. I rarely get any calls though, my phone’s mostly silent, so when my phone rings early morning – my inner self screams, “No, please call an hour or two later.” But, they aren’t listening, so the phone keeps ringing. This time, It shouldn’t have rung for long too when I picked it up, and before I could’ve spoke out – a voice from the other end said, “Jaan, please kuch bolo na.”[Translation: Dear (or darling or honey or something similar), please say something..]

What!?” I said, a bit surprised and confused. I was completely awaken now, and after realizing what may have happened, I did well to not laugh as the initial response. There was a momentary silence followed by a sort of embarrassed (as I assume) “Oh!” 

Wrong number, ma’am!” I said, and the other phone disconnected within the split of a second. I had managed to not laugh when the call was active, but I found the incident extremely funny. It was a sweet voice, but very honestly it’s QUITE a mistake to get your “Jaan’s” (Google autocorrected it to Japan’s for once) number wrong. 

This is probably the most I’ve laughed to start a Monday morning. I was awaken by then, and my mom noticed that too. She said (or taunted), “Jaldi with gaya aaj.” [You woke up early today]. As obedient as I’m went back to sleep, and rose again a good 2 hours later. But, that phone call will be the subject of my laughter for some time to come. I hope she got Mr. Japan’s number right next time.

To make your day better, here’s a beautiful picture.

If you have a story tell or something to share about “missed calls”, do comment. Great day ahead. 

My Messed Up Social Media Timelines! 

This isn’t the best picture editing you’d see, but it shows how strict we’re relating to adult material on our blog.

Anyways, the picture above is a screenshot from my Google+ timeline, of course made useless to use for anyone else later. The post has been made to a Cricket community, and it certainly isn’t related to Cricket in any way of imagination. I am going to take you all through my Social Media timelines and then I have something to tell:

Twitter (@RahulSingh_I) – My Twitter timeline is most of the time filled with posts such as “Her body paint definitely doesn’t hide her n*ppl*s”, “The girl’s 70 inches … is getting Instagram crazy”, “Man catches wife with stranger…” and then all the “sexy girls” posts. In fact, months ago I took an entire day to go through all the profiles I was following, and unfollowed over 200 people making such posts. But, even now I sometimes skip going through profiles before following back people. So, the problem has resurfaced. I am not even considering going through all the profiles I follow this time, so the only option is to mute all those people – one at a time – and report the posts too. Add to that all those “hate” tweets, Internet trolls, and angry people. Twitter has the perfect recipe to spoil my Timeline. 
Thank God for Twitter lists, and some people who genuinely tweet great making me check my timeline, and of course some friends.

    Google+ – It isn’t too bad here – all the profiles I follow aren’t spam. The “sexy videos” posts reach my timeline through the communities I am a part of. I was a part of over 70 communities in May, I’ve reduced that to 5 now. But, then my G+ timeline is basically teens ranting about their problems, reposting Tumblr “teen” posts, roleplays, sex jokes, fangirlism/fanboyism, “how my life sucks”, “nobody cares about me”,“I am leaving”, “I love you forever, bae”, “f*ck” posts, and and people flirting to sum up. The thing is that Social Media is to express, and I don’t mind people using their freedom of expression simply because I do it to the extreme. But, then when I see many people copying the same posts, showing other people’s work as their own, using expletives nonstop, cursing life 24×7, it’s just too negative. I can’t report them, I don’t block ’em, but I do “mute” them these days.

    Although, because of all the bloggers I follow on Google+, and some great people I get to interact with, my Google+ experience overall is totally worth checking. Surprisingly, there are some witty teens too, – very surprisingly.

      Facebook – Due to how Facebook chooses relevant posts for it’s users, I only have “success” and “motivation” posts appearing on my timeline. That has made me about 10 minutes more active on Facebook everyday, up from 2-3 minutes at best. However, there’s a price I’ve had to pay – not interacting with many means – my posts aren’t something everyone looks forward to as well, especially that I unfriended about 250 people a while back to leave me with 60 friends – that doesn’t help.

        Instagram (rahulsingh_i) – I am new to Instagram, and have had very few people add me, and I don’t follow many too. So, it’s cool for now, and looks calm. Highly impressed with the activity on the medium as compared to other Social networks. Just wishing that  Instagram makes hashtags as relevant as Twitter, and People easier to follow – while being non-spammy.

          Others – I have accounts on Tumblr, Flipboard, Pinterest, Quora, and many more places that I am not too active with. I loved how Flipboard worked, no wonder they have got over 500 million app downloads from the Google PlayStore. Tumblr and Quora can be addictive, but I am logged out of both, and have no intentions of logging in anytime soon – other than the odd security checks of course. Pinterest, it’s the place you want to share your “creative” blog posts too – no wonder, it isn’t for me.

          Important – Look for every problem there’s a solution. Report all spam posts, block people, create private lists on Twitter, and add the people you want to interact with. Block, or if that’s too harsh, mute people on Google+, or the better solution is to keep important people in a separate circle. Message your Facebook friends once in a while. Explore new parts of the Social Media networks. What’s the point of ranting on your blog, man? Good day.

          Memories. Frustration. Humour. Lessons.

          May, 2017 will mark my two years in blogging. May, 2025 will make my blogging journey 3650 days of awesomeness. Can you imagine how awesome 2065 will be?

          May 3rd, 2015. 3 school friends meet. 3 school friends with big dreams, and desires. We plan to build up a website, but being technically inefficient, we settle for blogging. We randomly play a game, choose letters, and the name for the blog is picked as Screwup Bureau. We have a lot of fun over 3 months, but 1 day our blogging ‘journey’ together comes to an end. While, I would save the details, can safely disclose that a lot was learned. And, thankfully the friendships remained.

          It was ‘fun’ 3 months. We saw days, we got no more than 4-5 views. And, then there was a day we got 1945 views (I still get pretty excited with the number, knowing sites get millions and billions of views). We accumulated over 10,000 views in the last 20 days we were together (as I said.. excitement). I will reach great heights with blogging one day (fingers crossed), and I really have try hard to solve problems, but the stars are yet to align.  So, I don’t know when that day will be, but the day will come. I can surely say if the day’s in 2016, 2017, 2018 or whenever. The day will come. I need not worry about the future though ’cause the present fills me with nothing but gratitude.

          Last May, I barely knew about blogging, and literally never understood how social media worked. By present standards, will come as a surprise to many of you, but I didn’t have a phone until I was 20 years and 6 months old. I had a laptop pretty early, but no INTERNET. So, I used it for playing games. Mainly Cricket – I would spent hours playing EA sports ’07 Cricket on the laptop. It pleased me heartily. While, this May – I am pleased with my learning process. I have a lot to learn yet, and I have barely done anything in practical. Yet, I’m happy.

          Blogging is great, a passion. However, for bonuses – 1 thing I really felt was that I had never made enough friends. I look into my Facebook daily to see if there are messages from ‘former’ mates. There never are. I look back, and see that I was a loner (as everyone puts it). So, can’t blame people too. I barely find people interacting with my stuff there, so it definitely doesn’t please me, nor I have many people on WhatsApp spamming me. To their credit, there ain’t much effort put on my part as well, actually there is – but too little I guess. But, coming here on G+, I got something – knowledge. Talking to people, interacting, hearing generous stuff, and seeing people with great motivation for whatever they did, and not just pretending stuff. I would like to think, I have changed a great deal in the last few months.

          For anyone who knows me and is wondering why would I delete G+ then. The honest answer is, “I was p*ssed off. Just frustrated with myself, and something had to play the victim”. Week(s) later, me thinks it was unwise to delete the account, but I don’t regret. I can always restart, and I am a mistake wiser. Sometimes, you also just got to sacrifice stuff to gain something new. I desperately also needed a break from everything.

          The purpose has always been to learn. And, I forgive myself more at present. To put it straight, I am in a corner in life, where I stand without a degree. In a world filled with people with elite qualifications, all that I have as a qualification is that I try hard, and am a learner. I have left college, though I will still persue my ‘education’ with correspondence. Hopefully. All this written work for me is my hope. I just want to be better at what I do. And, In the last couple of days I have added 2 more chapters to my novel. I am job searching as well – the chances of getting one is pretty slim ’cause I reject half, and the other half rejects me (the former is a half-lie of course, the latter is 75% true).

          The final note on my SM presence, specifically G+ is that I will be back sooner than even I expect of myself. It’s just me, but if I haven’t said goodbye, I haven’t even left.

          As far as learning, and all the other things go. I am not too disappointed. I find myself a good self-tutor and with a curious brain, so satisfaction and dissatisfaction go ‘hand-in-hand’ for me. Quite honestly, I get frustrated with myself a lot these days, ’cause all the things you tend to avoid do catch up. However, I learn quick and that’s what helps me move heads up. And, also being humorous (maybe) is the best gift God’s presented. I am thankful. Just if Rahul could get as “cool” as he pretends when in kinship.

          However, now I don’t regret the 100s of friends I did not make in the past, but I appreciate the 2-4 I did. People, who check often to see I’m alive, or even when they don’t, I know they care.

          Some things in my life, especially careerwise have been on a downslide ever since I entered this decade, but now I like the person I see in the mirror. I also like the person, that gets off the bed early (not always, but it’s okay), like he did when he was 5, 6 or 7. I still procrastinate, but I am embracing change more, and I am putting my efforts to make myself a person that knows self.

          Everything, that happens adds layers to your life, and if you’re a writer – it leaves you with another story to tell. But so much I have that can’t be expressed. An author should never be short of words, but I am.

          [Side notes: I really need to speed up on vocabulary building.]

          If it aint your first time here, you know what I do when I’m short of material. I go to unpredictable territories. Why change good habits? So, going an absolute different route. I would like to tell you the last “confessions” post is the favorite post of mine on this blog. Though, it’s pretty low on the ‘most viewed’ list.

          On another unrelated news, the Duolingo app recently downgraded my fluency to 8% from 12%. Though it’s back to 10% now.

          The last book I read was ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’. Really in love with these positive books. Up next is “The Alchemist”. Will let you know, what it teaches.

          And, as I always say. I don’t care if you share this, or even if you like it or not, but if you aren’t reading this – YOU ****. You read it again, didn’t you?

          To all my G+ peeps – if I reactivate this profile today, tomorrow, or the day after. Just don’t feel weird. You can still ignore me. Don’t do that for long though, it hurts. Peeps, just pretend that I’m a different person.

          PS: It’s useless to put your birthdays on G+ or Twitter profiles. Nobody notices. Some actually do, but why let facts destroy good rants. Hope you aren’t too bored. Good luck.

          image

          If you read this complete. Keep the sanity alive, and do you know why I would use this kind of pic? Nothing else is working (this ain’t the original picture which was to show up, and had “Happy birthday, Rahul” written on it.)

          Fact: 6% of my friends on Facebook said “happy birthday”, and you know why I get pissed off. I understand we don’t talk, but just say ‘happy birthday, mate!’. It doesn’t take a lot. As Chris Jericho puts it – I-D-I-O-T-S. IDIOTS.

          If you have read it thus far, but don’t feel like commenting, or sharing, or even the easiest task of rating this. Relax. I don’t care, anyways. Really. Maybe. Who knows?

          Keep smiling, keep checking. Wish me ‘happy birthday’ anytime you meet me. I won’t be offended.

          PS-2: The Alchemist was supposed to be “next”, but in between writing this post on a Wednesday evening, and hitting the publish on a Thursday afternoon, I got my hands on “The Story of My Life” by Helen Keller. If you haven’t read the book, go read. It’s amazing, and thank me later.

          See you in the next post. Thank you!

          The post brought to you by “The COOL guy born on a hot month”, who is also a self-proclaimed “Good Little Indian”, and a “universally appreciated and loved” dude – ME (Rahul Singh, if you didn’t know)

          VERY Personal #Confessions (T&C), this “I” in “Me”.

          People love confessions, don’t they? Can’t blame anyone, ’cause nothing makes me more excited than a friend confessing that he got beaten by a mob. The reason being him behaving inadequately being drunk, or possibly a friend getting slapped by a girl in public is even more awesome, especially if he weren’t the culprate. Sadly, I have never had a friend come and tell me something like this, but I’m pretty optimistic on some people in my knowledge getting assaulted by a mob. Best wishes to ’em.

          Recently, a friend of mine pretty excitedly let me know that he proposed a girl, and that doesn’t really is an interesting story, ’cause everyone of us knew of some boring stuff going on, she expectedly said ‘yes’. So, I will not let this sweet ‘true love’ story ruin my blog post.

          [Side notes 1: Sorry mate!]

          I have this bad habit of running away from the topic, just to make a blog post long. If you have read my posts, I will talk a hell lot about things that don’t really matter, ’cause all the stuff that do matter don’t need a lot of talking to. Anyways, I won’t do the ‘running away’ in this post. Wait!

          [Side notes 2: As I have told you earlier, Duolingo is a great app, but I hate it now. Being this much busy, I still take precious time off to log into the app, and learn French, and these guys, just don’t want to increase my fluency from 3%. All of us should start a #RahulKnowsFrench trend. If Sir S Bradley Stoner is reading this, and would like to comment again in French. I was just kidding. All is well.]**

          Confessions – As you would have known from the heading itself, this is a VERY personal blog post. A post where I give away a part of me. Things even my closest peeps don’t know about me. Without wasting anymore time, let’s get my heart lighter. One sec! I forgot to tell you people something.

          [Side notes 3: I have published more than a dozen posts on this blog, and “Incredible People: Rahul Singh” is still by far the most popular post of mine. Thanks to all my readers who hit that post, and this blog. #IAmThankful to all you people. I know I couldn’t have had a more honest title, even if the word “incredible” falls short to describe me properly. Anyways, I’m working on my vocabulary, I will find a better word soon. And, a friend let me know, that I need to choose better pics for such posts. Maybe, I will update the picture on that post this winter after a good bath, some sleep, escaping the sun, weight gain, a smile and probably in my favourite suit (Do I have one? I have a few blazers, alright)].

          Oh! Did I tell you guys, I won’t talk about anything else then confessions in this post? And I am talking ’bout everything else. This is why people can’t take me seriously. No more getting distracted from the topic. Confessions – I was a kid, and… Actually, another thing you should know first. Pardon me one last time.

          [Side notes 4: The day this post has been written (not published) – Novak Djokovic lost in the first round of the Monte Carlo masters. Mark this date (Oh! What’s the date?). Things like Novak Djokovic loosing doesn’t happen everyday. [Confession: I haven’t followed Tennis with any sincerity since 2009, but I read tweets making this being noted as a really surprising event. I have watched him play at times on TV though, he’s great. His win-loss record speaks]. Anyways, for the Cricket followers – Martin Guptil finally has an #IPL contract with Mumbai Indians coming in as replacement for the injured Lendl Simmons. The #WWE fans.. Sh*t! This is a confessions post. Sighs. Sorry.]

          So, once I was a kid, and then I grew up. As a kid, I played Cricket in streets, and being grown up – I still play Cricket in the streets. Then I were single. Now, I am single. Then, I didn’t care about the world, now I pretend not caring. Then, I found myself being the center of jokes. Now, I am the one whose jokes “offends” everyone. A decade ago, I still had dreams. It’s 2016, and dreams are still alive. A kid, I never said “I love you”, a grown up, I still find the 3 words difficult to use. Hey! I at least don’t lie.

          I wanted to update my G+ profile in April, 2016. wanting to write: “Hey! I’m Rahul Singh. I made a lot of mistakes in the past, but I have updated myself this February. So, if you got complaints against me from before 2016. Please don’t waste my time. I have already learnt my lessons. However, complaints relating to February and henceforth are still welcome. Ah! I still use to 2G – if you want to know, why I avoid videos.”

          Do let me know if these are a good few words to make a bio.

          I said this thing is about confessions, but I think that this post’s long enough to make you irritated. See you in the next “therapy session“. Bye. No! 1 minute please – as usual I would be checking the stats again. So, please do share. Actually, don’t share – I don’t care about shares, but do read this post till the END. Are you reading this? If not – you know what I will say – You S*ck. But, you read it, didn’t you?

          *- Meet Mr. S Bradley Stoner. He knows Engish, French, Latin, Spanish, and still working on German. A scientist too. And, he writes and blogs. One LIFE is enough.

          **– My fluency in French has now rocketed to 6%. Editing the post was an option, but why edit fun written stuff!

          ***- Using exclamations is not considered cool by professional editors.

          P.S. – Only this week the publisher for this post came to know that P.S. meant Post Scriptum.

          P.S.S – I still don’t know what this stands for.

          Writing tip: Don’t use so many Is. It makes your writing look flawed. However, I myself can’t stop using the Is. You should though.

          Am I becoming egocentric? I have the feeling that I’m the center of ‘The Universe’. It sounds fun though. Time to take leave for now.

          image

          (Note: I promised a new image for this post, but my WordPress app is on hibernation. I have mailed the staff for the alarm. Let’s see when things work again. I can’t promise anything anymore.)

          Thank you.

          This post is now well above 1000 words. I made it. Yay! See you next time.